#moveon

 "@RevRunWisdom: Sometimes you just grow out of ppl,, dont try to repair it,, its too painful,, #moveon"

This has been something that i think about a lot recently. There comes a time where you feel like people change even when you don't want them to and you almost grow apart. Its like at one point you thought you were so close, yet now you are so far. What makes this happen? Jealousy? Immaturity? Lack of Common Interests? Lack of Future Goals? I guess we each can have our own opinion to that and possible each one is different. I understand this and it makes sense that people change, I just wonder why I cant let go, why I keep trying to make it work, why I keep these people in my life when it does nothing but stress me out. Some people use the term Frenemies or Toxic Friends and that's exactly what they are. 

In my life I have had 2 major friend blowouts. The ones where you are so upset because someone you thought was a good friend was actually nothing but a... joke?  fake friend?  time in your life that was a learning experience and that it would stop at that. After I completely got these people out of my life, I felt so much better... I don't deal with the BS on a day to day basis and I don't have to BS back to them and be fake. Another thing that this great is new friends and better friends came into my life. It goes really good with the "When one door closes, another door opens" quote... except, the door needs to lock or disappear so you don't keep messing with it. Or does it? There have been 2 of my really good friends now that were in my life years ago, we hadn't spoken for years, yet when we started talking again- I feel like we are closer then before. It might just be that we are more mature now and know how to be a better friend.  So maybe the door should lock for a 3 year minimum...?


Every-once in a while I think about those crappy/fake/frenemy friends because deep down I guess I still care about how they are and that I don't like the idea of being on bad terms with people because if something every happen to them, I would not have wanted them to go out with negative feelings towards me/them... Does that even make sense?


At the end of the day, all you need are your really good friends and supportive family members. I am SO lucky that I have an AMAZING family and a few really good friends! These friends are not the ones that I wonder if they think I am a good friend, these are the friends that would be there for their close friends  whenever they need it.  You all know who you are, so THANK YOU for being there for me and for being the best friends that I could ever ask for. 


A few quick random friend comments that I have learned or observed over the years:

• Please who use distance as an excuse are not good friends. Some of our best friends live almost 3 hours away and my grandparents who I am EXTREMELY close to (and I would consider my best friends) live in New York. Its called a phone call and some effort... (both ways, of course) 
• I believe in Karma and not just the bad kind...  "performing positive actions results in a good condition in one's experience, whereas a negative action results in a bad effect. The effects may be seen immediately or delayed. Delay can be until later in the present life or in the next. Thus, meritorious acts may mean rebirth into a higher station, such as a superior human or a godlike being, while evil acts result in rebirth as a human living in less desirable circumstances, or as a lower animal. " from Wikipedia
• Facebook is a social NETWORKING site and should be used for that. Yes people can have 10 billion "friends"- that's great! Those are people who can help you find a job, introduce you to a new friend, open up a bunch of possibilities, etc. I just don't like how people use it as a "friend-conversation site". I don't post pictures to look cool- I post them so the other people I was with can have them. I don't message people to be a good friend, sometimes you just wanna say "Happy Birthday" or "thinking about you" and that is exactly how it is. If you want to be better friends- send an email, pick up the phone, send a card, etc. I know everyone is busy, but if you can only talk/email once every 2 weeks, it well go a lot longer of a way then if you send a wall post everyday. I recently have lessened my facebook activity and increased my blogs and email communication and I love it! Plus facebook has become super creepy and stalker-ish. Now if you are younger than me/in college then it's still okay because you are learning and I didn't learn this until after graduating. {okay sorry I am off the rant on that}
• Don't talk behind people back... It doesn't feel good and it always gets back to them. So instead be a better friend and just tell someone (when necessary) that you think that the black leggings would be cuter than the yellow tights. Everyone can respect an honest friend.
• Always be open to new friends and making old friends new again.
• Always work on being a good and better friend. Its like getting married, they say "you can never stop dating each other" and that's true with friends as well.
• If you make a mistake or do something mean to someone or ever have... apologize. No matter how many hours/weeks/years later, just do it! If they don't get over it- fine, its not longer on you now.. its on them.
• Acquaintances are always good to have in your life but just know how to tell the difference from them and friends.

Okay, Wow, that was a much bigger rant than I thought it would be.

Have a great day!


xoxo